Welcome to The First Touch.

Every week this is going to be your Monday morning reset. We're going to dig into so many different things — tactics, training design, player development, team culture, and yeah, sometimes the stuff nobody talks about but every coach needs to hear. No fluff. No generic advice. Just real conversations about the craft of coaching from myself and other like minded people who see it and live it every day.

We're starting this week with something that doesn't get talked about enough: Being “More Than a Coach”.

Let's be honest with each other right from the start.

We didn't get into coaching just to run sessions or draw up formations. We got into it because we love this game and we believe in what it can do for young people. And whether we acknowledge it or not — we are shaping humans every single time we step onto that field.

That's not a small thing. That's everything.

The players we coach aren't just absorbing our tactics. They're watching how we handle pressure. They're listening to how we talk to them after a mistake. They're feeling whether or not we actually see them as people. And all of that — every single interaction — is leaving a mark.

So here's a question worth sitting with this week: How well do you actually know your players?

Not their positions. Not their strengths and weaknesses on the ball. I mean really know them. What's going on at school? What do they care about outside of soccer? What kind of encouragement lands with them and what kind of feedback shuts them down? What do they need from you that they'd never ask for out loud?

It takes time to figure that out. It takes genuine curiosity and patience. But that investment pays off in ways that no training session ever could.

Now — and this is important — none of this means we go “soft” in terms of holding a high standard for our kids. Not even a little. You can hold your players to an incredibly high standard and have a real relationship with them. In fact the relationship is what makes the high standard stick. When a player trusts you, when they know you're in their corner, they will run through a wall for you. They'll accept hard feedback because they know it's coming from someone who genuinely wants the best for them.

But without that foundation? You're just a voice they're tuning out.

Think about your own life. Think about the coaches, teachers, or mentors who got the most out of you. I'd be willing to bet that every single one of them made you feel seen before they ever pushed you hard. That's not a coincidence. That's just how humans work.

We work hard for people we trust.

So this week, make one small move toward really knowing one of your players a little better. Ask a question you've never asked before. Notice something beyond the ball. It won't change everything overnight — but over a season, over a year, over a career? It changes everything.

Next week we're going to dive even deeper into this. We’re going to gather thoughts and ideas from myself and other coaches on how they live up to this element of being a coach.

See you next Monday.

— Fred