What Are We Actually Developing? — Part 3

We've spent the last two weeks talking about development from the coach's perspective. What we're building, how we're building it, and why it matters.

But there's a piece of this conversation we haven't “directly” addressed yet.

The player.

Because at the end of the day — coaches can create the best environment in the world. Parents can be perfectly supportive. The culture can be everything it's supposed to be. And none of it matters if the player isn't willing to meet it halfway.

So for Part 3 — the final chapter of this series for now — let's talk about the player's role in their own development.

The Players Who Actually Develop

In my years of coaching I've seen a lot of talented players. And I've learned something — talent is common. What's becoming kind of rare is the player who is truly bought in.

You know who I'm talking about. They show up early and are already doing something productive before training even starts. They stay late to work on something they struggled with or to sharpen something that's already good. They watch their own film. They think about their game away from the field. They don't wait for someone to push them — they push themselves.

I have two players who are perfect examples of this.

Owen Sullivan — who some of you might remember from the USYNT mini camp piece a few weeks back — once told me that part of the reason he works so hard on his own is that he doesn't want anyone to catch up to him. He understands that every session and every touch is continuing to put distance between him and the competition. That mentality at his age is genuinely rare and it's a big reason why he belongs in the rooms he's been in.

Then there's Jackson Kirsch. Jackson was always the first one on the field and the last one to leave. Always getting extra touches in before we started, always staying late, always asking to train. But what I love most about Jackson is what his work ethic did to the people around him. His desire to get better spread to his teammates. Sometimes he would practically drag them into extra work with him (Andrew Heckenlaible) — but they went. And they got better because of it. That's leadership through action and it's one of the most powerful things I've witnessed as a coach.

The Gap Between Saying and Doing

There are a lot of players who say they want to be great. Who say they want to play at the highest level. Who talk about their goals and where they want to go in this game.

And then they go home and don't do anything about it.

Now I want to be clear — not every player needs to want to be great. Not every kid playing soccer is trying to play in college or beyond and that's completely fine. The game is for everyone and there are a hundred valid reasons to play that have nothing to do with being elite.

But if you say you want it — really want it — then there has to be a match between your words and your actions. Because the players who are going to get there are working right now. They are getting extra touches, studying the game, showing up early and staying late. And if you're not doing those things the gap between you and them is growing whether you feel it or not.

The players I respect the most are the ones who are honest with themselves about what they want — whatever that is. Know what you want from this game. Chase it honestly. And don't let the space between what you say and what you actually do be the thing that holds you back.

My Personal Side

I knew from a young age that I wanted to play college soccer at the highest level. So I did things that a lot of my peers weren't doing. I genuinely loved watching the game at the highest level — studying it, learning from it. I would go to the fields on my own or with friends as much as I could and when we got there we actually worked. We trained first and had fun after. Even when I was playing video games it was mostly FIFA.

But I'll also tell you this — there were more sacrifices I could have made. More work I could have put in. More film I could have watched. I carry that with me now not as regret but as something I try to pass on to every player I work with.

The ceiling you reach is largely determined by the work you put in when nobody is watching.

Closing Out the Series

Three weeks. Three parts. And honestly we could keep going forever.

Development is one of those topics that never has a final answer because the game keeps evolving, players keep changing, and what it means to truly develop someone looks different in every environment and every relationship.

But if there's one thing I hope you take from this whole series it's this — development is a shared responsibility. The coach has to create the right environment. The parent has to support without suffocating. And the player has to show up every single day willing to do the work.

When all three of those things are happening at the same time — that's when something special can be built.

Next week we're switching gears for now, but we’ll be back on the development topic. It’s something we will keep coming back to in this newsletter because honestly there's always more to say. See you Monday.

— Coach Frim

P.S. — If you're a player reading this — the work you put in today is the version of yourself you'll be grateful for later. Start now.

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